And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs, (and the hairs)
And the hairs dicky-dicky-down-down
Get down to their knees.

One black one, one white one,
And one with a bit of shite on,
And one with a little light on 
To show us the way 

And the hairs (and the hairs)
And the hairs, (and the hairs)
And the hairs dicky-dicky-down-down
Get down to their knees.

Tune: Hey Jude (The Beatles)

Hey hares
Your trail was bad
You got the pack lost
Now go and get them
Remember to use some flour and chalk
Then trail will start
To be much better better better better better better Yeow!
Down down down down down down down down down
Fuck youuu
Down down down down down down down down down
Fuck youuuu

RA: What did ya think of the trail?

Hounds: Shitty!
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Shitty trail (It sucked)
Shitty trail (really fucked)
The motherfuckers laid a shitty trail
I would rather drink a beer
– than do your shitty trail,
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L

Drink it down, down, down, down, down —

Melody – “Living on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi

You should have used more flour and chalk,
We followed your marks,
but they said ‘You’re fucked’
It su-ucked, you su-uck.
We wanted to drink Magic Hat,
But lost on your trail
We settled for Pabst
It su-ucked, you su-uck.
You’ve got to hold on to the drink you’ve got
It doesn’t make a difference if it’s beer or a shot
This is for the tit checks you forgot
You’ll be drinking a lot!
Woah-oh there was no beer out there!
Woah-oh you’re a shitty ha-are!
Take some flour and use it out there!
Woah-oh you’re a shitty ha-are!
You’re a shitty ha-a-are!

Here’s to fellow hashers, Fellow hashers, fellow hashers,
Here’s to fellow hashers, They are with us today

They’re happy, they’re jolly, They’re fucked up by golly,
Here’s to fellow hashers, They are with us today.

So drink motherfucker, Drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker, Drink motherfucker.

Here’s to brother hashers, they are with us today

4 and 20 Virgins
Came down from Inverness
When the war was over,
– there was 4 and 20 less
Singin balls to your father,
– arse against the wall
If you never got laid on the Saturday night
You will never get laid at all

Like a virgin
Just like the very first time
Like a ver-her-ver-her-gin
….

Here’s to Virgins,
They’re true blue,
They are Hashers through and through,
They are arseholes so they say,
They tried to go to heaven,
But they went the other way.

Melody – Frere Jacque

We’ve got virgins, 
We’ve got virgins,
At our hash, 
At our hash,
Gonna get’em drunked up, 
Gonna get’em fucked up,
Down the hatch, 
Up the ass,

So drink it down, down, down . . .

To the tune of “It’s a Small World”

They’ve returned to us, some from far away,
Some fucking excuse, each of them did say,
As we listen to it,
We know they’re full of shit,
They are assholes, after all.

They are assholes, after all,
They are assholes, after all,
They are assholes, after all,
Fuck you all, assholes.

Melody – Where Oh Where Were You Last Night (from Hee Haw)

Where, Oh Where were you last week?
Why did you make us hash all alone?
You Fat Lazy Bastards, You weren’t even here.
So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the Beer.
Down, Down, Drink it all Down
Drink it all Down, Drink all of that Beer
You Fat Lazy Bastards, You weren’t even here.
So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the Beer.

Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be,
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee,
For cunt, for cunt, for country and for queen.
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.

Be my guest
Be my guest
Put my service to the test
Wrap your legs around my waist cherie
And I will do the rest

Menage a trois, 69
Without your clothes you look just fine
Try the white stuff, it’s delicious
Don’t believe me? Ask da bitches
They can scream, they can moan
When I give them all the bone
Cuz a screwing here is never 2nd best!
Come on unzip my pants
Then take a look, a glance

Be my guest!
I’m the best!
Be my guest!
Be my love
Be my slave

Let’s kick back and watch some Dave
I’ll prepare
Extraordinaire
And then I’ll spelunk in your cave
We’re alone and you’re scared
But the bedroom’s all prepared
No one’s ever been complaining
Cuz I’m always entertaining
I sell smokes, you turn trix
I’m the dick to end all Dicks!
Lick me, bite me, suck me, blow me, give me head
You’re such a nice young lass
Come on and shake your ass

Be my guest
If you’re stressed
It’s my love spear I suggest
Be my guest
I’m the best
Be my guest!
Life is disconcerting
To a flirter who’s not flirting
He’s not whole without a soul
To jump upon
Ah those good old days when I was fruitful
Tonight we’ll be fruitful until dawn
Three weeks it’s been missing
Needing so much more than kissing
Needing exercise, a chance to use its skill
Most days I just jerk off in the bathroom
Flabby, fat and lazy
You walk in and I go crazy
It’s a guest!
It’s a guest!

Sakes alive she’s got a chest
Wine’s been poured
And I’ve been bored
Gosh I’d love to stroke her breast
With dessert she’ll want me
With some luck we’ll make it three
While the bed starts in a-squeaking
I’ll be coming, I’ll be peaking
You’ll get warm, piping hot
Heaven’s sakes, is that a spot?
Clean it up, we want the company impressed.
I’ve got you to do
Was that one fuck or two?
For you my guest
She’s my guest

My command is your request
It’s been three weeks since
I’ve seen anybody’s peaks
And I’m obsessed
You’re a treat, you’re a tease
Yes indeed I aim to please
Through the night we’ll keep a-going
Pretty soon you’ll be a glowing
Thrust by thrust

One by one
Till you shout “Enough, I’ve come”
Then I’ll whisk you off to bed for oral sex
Tonight you’ll prop your feet up
And I’ll start to eat up
Be my guest
I’m the best!
BE MY GUEST!

chorus
Beastiality’s best, boys,
Beastiality’s best – FUCK A WALLABY!
Beastiality’s best, boys,
Beastiality’s best.

wallaby
Tie me wallaby down, boys,
Tie me wallaby down,
You can’t fuck when jumping around, boys,
So tie me wallaby down.

duck
Change your luck with a duck, Chuck,
Change your luck with a duck,
A duck’s a marvelous fuck, Chuck,
So change your luck with a duck.

drake
A drake’s the best all around, mate,
A drake’s the best all around,
Its entry’s surrounded by down, mate,
A drake’s the best all around.

camel
A camel’s a hell of a lay, Kay,
A camel’s a hell of a lay,
Humping the hump, as they say, Kay,
A camel’s a hell of a lay.

moose
A moose is no bloody use, Bruce,
A moose is no bloody use,
She’s big, she’s mean, and she’s loose, Bruce,
A moose is no bloody use.

toad
You can shoot your load in a toad, dude,
You can shoot your load in a toad,
If there’s nothing else to be rode, dude,
You can shoot your load in a toad.

llama
Make a llama a mama, boys,
Make a llama a mama – BESTIALITY!
Make a llama a mama, boys,
Make a llama a mama, ’cause . . .

dork/eal
Stick your dork in a stork
Make an eel squeel
Rub your beaver on a retriever
Rub your box on a fox

B double E, Double R, U-N
Beer Run! Beer Run!
B double E, Double R, U-N
Beer Run! Beer Run!
All you need is a ten and a fiver,
A set of car keys and a non-asian driver.
B double E, Double R, U-N
Beer Run! Beer Run!

Well she’s got big ol’ boobies
Like the porno movies
And she can suck a golf ball
Through a garden hose
And I’ll never leave her
Cause she shaves her beaver
Just get her drunk
And anything goes! 

Hashy birthday, fuck you,
Hashy birthday, fuck you,
Hasshhy birrrthday, fuckk youuu,
Hashy birthday, fuck you.

Why were they born so beautiful
Why were they born at all
They’re no fuckin’ use to anyone
They’re no fuckin’ use at all

Bull-shit, bull-shit,
It all sounds like bullshit to me, to me,
Bull-shit, bull-shit,
It all sounds like bullshit to me!

Build a BonFire ! Build a BonFire !
– put Canadians on the top
– put Americans in the middle
And BURN the fucking lot

They’ve got the clap again
They really must refrain From Maggie’s Bar
And screwing Mongol hordes
-(Mongol hordes, …)
They’ve got the pills to use
They must lay off the booze
They’ve got the clap
Oh yes, they’ve got the clap

Melody – Row row row your boat

Down Down Down your beer
To pay for your crime
Quit complaining about the taste
There’s no sperm this time

Dos, a beer, a Mexican beer,
Ray, the guy who buys me beer,
Me, the guy, he buys beer for,
Far, a long-long way to run,
So, I think I’ve have a beer!
La, la la la la la la,
Tea, no thanks I’ll have a beer,
And that brings us back to Dos, dos, dos, dos…

Melody–Do, Re, Mi

Dough, the stuff, that buys me beer,
Ray, the guy who serves me beer,
Me, the guy, who drinks me beer,
Fa, a long way to the john,
So, I’ll have another beer,
La, I’ll have another beer,
Tea, no thanks I’ll have a beer,
And that brings us back to,
– Dough Dough Dough Dough

How would, you like, my finger in your ear?
How would, you like, my finger in your ear?
Not fucking likely!
– Not fucking likely!
– – Not fucking likely!

My one skin hangs down to my two skin,
My two skin hangs down to my three,
My three skin hangs down to my foreskin,
My foreskin hangs down to my knees.

Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me, for me.
Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me.

Melody–Do, Re, Mi

Fuck a duck, A female duck,
Screw a baby Kangaroo,
Finger bang an UrangUtan,
Let an Elephant eat you,

FEEL the penis of an Eel,
WHACK the Asshole of a Yak,
MASTURBATE with a Unu,
That will bring us back to Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck . . .

(Repeat with motions, humming, silence, etc)

tune is the French National Anthem

A Frenchman went to the lavat’ry,
To have him a jolly good shit, shit, shit
He took his coat and his trousers off,
So that he could revel in it, it, it.
But when he reached for the paper,
He found that someone had been there before

Ou est le papier?
Ou est le papier?
Monsieur, monsieur, je fait manure.

Ou est le papier?
Ou est le papier?”

Fuck off, ya wank, fuck off, ya wank,
Fuck off, ya wank, fuck off! (Fuck off!)

Fuck off, ya wank, fuck off, ya wank,
Fuck off, ya wank, fuck off! (Fuck off!)

tune: German national Anthem

Germans have no sense of hu-hu-mor
– Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha !
It’s not true, it’s just a ru-hu-mor
– Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha !
… They càn laugh …
…… but they don’t !

If your girlfriend tastes like shit, turn her over.
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, turn her over.
If your girlfriend tastes like shit,
That’s her asshole not her clit.
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, turn her over.

Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But my cock is so delightful,
So if you want to see it grow,
Give it a blow, give it a blow, give it a blow!

He’s a racist,
He sucks the horse’s faces,
He’s a racist,
He’s a horse’s ass.

Every since he found it,
All he does is pound it,
He’s a racist,
He’s a horse’s ass.

He’s the Meanest
He sucks the horse’s penis
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass.
Ever since he found it
All he does is pound it
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass.
So drink! chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug.
So drink! chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug.

Head!
Who said head?
I’ll have some of that,
So I did, and it was good
And then we f*cked.
We f*cked for hours
Uprooting trees & shrubs & flowers,
like Vikings, with horns on our HEAD! 
HEAD! Who said head?

Here’s to brother hasher,
Bother hasher, brother hasher,
Here’s to brother hasher,
May he chug-a-lug.

He’s happy, he’s jolly,
He’s fucked up by golly,
Here’s to brother hasher,
May he chug-a-lug.

So drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker,

Here’s to brother hasher,
May he chug-a-lug.

His one skin hangs down to his two skin,
His two skin hangs down to his three,
His three skin hangs down to his foreskin,
His foreskin hangs down to his knee.
Roll back, roll back,
– Roll back that foreskin for me, for me.
Roll back, roll back,
– Please roll back his foreskin for me.
Drink it down, down, down . . .

Hot vagina for your breakfast,
Hot vagina for your lunch,
.. Pussy !

Hot vagina for your dinner,
Just munch, munch, munch, munch, munch.
It’s so tasty and delicious,
Its bite-sized and ready to eat,
.. Pussy !

Hot vagina for your breakfast
Hot vagina can’t be beat.
.. Pussy !

When it’s incest time in Texas,
And there’s no cunt to be found,
Your mother’s in the bathroom,
Her panties halfway down,

No time for masturbation,
No time to beat your meat,
When it’s incest time in Texas,
Mother-fucking can’t be beat!

Well it isn’t long and it isn’t think,
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,
It gets lost in her twat but it’s all that he’s got,
It’s a small, small dick.It’s a small dick after all,
It’s a small dick after all,
Always limp from alcohol,
It’s a small, small dick!

Melody – “Jake the Peg (with his Extra Leg)”

My name is Jack (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I’m a necrophiliac (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I fucks dead wimmen (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
And I fills ’em full of jism.
I get frustrated (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
When they’re cremated (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
Cause try as I must (deedle-deedle-deedle-dum),
I can’t fuck dust!

Melody–My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean

Her left tit hangs down to her belly,
Her right tit hangs down to her knee.
If her left tit did equal her right tit,
She’d get lots of weenie from me.

There was a little bird,
No bigger than a turd,
A-sittin’ on a telephone pole.
He ruffled up his neck,
And shit about a peck,
He puckered up his little asshole.
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
He puckered up his little asshole.

He’s the meanest, He sucks the horse’s penis,
He’s the meanest, He’s a horse’s ass.
All he does is pound it, Ever since he found it,
He’s the meanest, He’s a horse’s ass.
He’s always pissing on us, He’s rotten and dishonest,
He’s the meanest, He’s a horse’s ass.

— (Flintstones tune)
Hashers, meet the hashers,
They’re the biggest drunks in history,
From the town of Amsterdam,
They’re the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers,
Down down, down-da down-down
Down Da-dadadown-down,
a da-da down-down,
a dada down down dowwwwnnnn.

Have you seen his cock Mrs Murphy
It only weighs a quarter of a pound
It’s got hair on its neck like a turkey
And it spits when you jerk it –
– up and down down, down, down . . .

Nipples! Nipples!
N-I-P-P-L-E-S!

Nipples! Nipples!
N-I-P-P-L-E-S!

Lick them, flick them, play with them too,
That’s where babies go to get goo.

Nipples! Nipples!
That’s what makes the titties fun!

No! No! No!
Bad! Bad! Bad!
Down! Down! Down!

tune is the French National Anthem

A Frenchman went to the lavat’ry,
To have him a jolly good shit, shit, shit
He took his coat and his trousers off,
So that he could revel in it, it, it.
But when he reached for the paper,
He found that someone had been there before

Ou est le papier?
Ou est le papier?
Monsieur, monsieur, je fait manure.

Ou est le papier?
Ou est le papier?”

Pissanya, Pissanya, Pissanya,
In Russian it means “I love you,”
If I had my way I’d pissanya all day,
Pissanya, Pissanya, Pissanya.

Shittanya, Shittanya, Shittanya,
In Russian it means “I adore you,”
If I had my way I’d shittanya all day,
Shittanya, shittanya, shittanya.

Cummanya, Cummanya, Cummanya,
In Russian it means “I need you,”
If I had my way, I’d Cummanya all day,
Cummanya, Cummanya, Cummanya.

Here’s to [hasher’s name] – He’s true blue,
He’s a Hasher, – Through and through,
He’s a pisspot – So they say,
He (She-They) tried to go to heaven,
But he went the other way,

He ought to publicly pissed upon,
He ought to be publicly shot (Bang! Bang!),
He out to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot (I love that part!)

Put your left leg over my shoulder,
Put your right leg over my shoulder,
La la la la!

She likes it in the kitchen,
She likes it in the kitchen,
She likes it in the kitchen,
And kitchen means butt!

Shiggy shaggy, shiggy shaggy,
Oi, Oi, Oi!

Shiggy shaggy, shiggy shaggy,
Oi, Oi, Oi!

Melody – To the tune of Scooby Doo

Shiggy shiggy shiggy, where are you?
I’m trying to find a trail now
All I see is pavement and no boobs
This must be the AMSTERDAMNED hash house

I’ve been running on this trail to find a cold PBR
Ohhhh so far
I’ve been digging in this cooler and all I see is BEER BRAND
That ain’t right!

Shiggy shiggy shiggy, where are you?
It’s time to do some down downs

She is alright
She is alright
She is a little flat chested
But she is alright

To the tune of It’s a Small World

Well it isn’t long and it isn’t thick,
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,
It gets lost in her twat,
But it’s all that he’s got,
It’s a small, small, dick.

It’s a small dick after all,
It’s a small dick after all,
Always limp from alcohol,
It’s a small, small, dick!

A-sshole, a-sshole,
a soldier I will be,
To piss, to piss,
two pistols on my knee,
For cunt, for cunt,
country and my queen,
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.
Drink it down, down, down . . .

This is a Down Down Song.
It isn’t very long.
This is the second verse,
It’s shorter than the first
Drink it down, down, down . . .

If your girlfriend tastes like shit, turn her over,
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, turn her over,
If your girlfriend tastes like shit,
– it’s her asshole not her clit,
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, turn her over.

Melody – Itsy Bitsy Spider

The tired little Hasher,
Went trudging up the hill,
Stopped at the Beer Check,
And there he drank his fill,
And when the trail was over,
His shoes were muddy brown.
Though he was drunk already, 
He had to drink it down, down, down, down . . .

You’re stupid, you’re stupid,
You’re really fucking dumb,
If it wasn’t for you’re mother,
You’d be a stain of cum!

Thank God she finally shut up,
She’s always fucking bitchin,
So drink your beer, get out of here,
And get back in the kitchen!

Here’s to the game called ‘Twenty Toes’
That’s played all over town.
The women play with ten toes up.
And the men with ten toes down, down, down.

Melody – Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star

Twinkle, twinkle, little hasher,
Can’t you suck a little faster?
Down upon my meat so slow,
Like a whale about to blow,
Twinkle, twinkle, little hasher,
Can’t you suck a little faster?

The weather outside is so frightful
But my dick is so delightful
If you really want to see it grow
Give it a blow, give it a blow, give it a blow

What a wank, what a wank,
-what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank,
– what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank,
– what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wááááánk, what a wank, wank, wank,

Melody – Come Let Us Adore Him

Why are we waiting,
Could be fornicating (masturbating, etc),
Oh, why are we waiting,
So fucking long, etc . . .

Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He’s no fuckin’ use to anyone,
He’s no fuckin’ use at all.
They say he’s a joy to his mother,
But he’s a pain in the asshole to me,
So, drink it down, down, down, down
Down, down, down, down

You’re not number four,
Number three, number two,
You’re number one !

You’re stupid, you’re stupid
You’re really fucking dumb
If it wasn’t for your mother
You’d be a stain of cum

All lay, zooma zooma zooma,
All lay, zooma zooma hey!
All lay, zooma zooma zooma,
All lay, zooma zooma hey!
Drink it down, you Zulu warrior!
Drink it down you Zulu chief, chief, chief!

Suck, Swallow, Hurl!
Hurl! Hurl! Hurl!